Caregiving Crisis: How will we have used this chance?
Inspiration from a block party. Paid leave likely goes to 4 weeks, not 12. Latest jobs numbers offer more proof that the economy and caregiving are linked.🤷♀️
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Hey everyone,
It's block party season in my New Jersey suburb.1
I've been watching my 6-year-old run wild for hours, engaging in lots of small talk with neighbors, and figuring out what to do with my hands again while in conversation with real-life humans.2
In between searching for my pockets and nervously picking at my phone, I've been having those random conversations that end up sticking with you days and even weeks later. Oh, how I miss those.
That's the case with one chat I had with a neighbor about a decade-ish ahead of me. Her youngest just went off to college, and we got to talking about juggling work and parenting. I wanted to know what it was like back in the early 2000s, when her kids were young. She said it was so difficult working and commuting, “balancing” it all. She described racing home — without cell phones!! — if a kid got sick, and always feeling like she couldn’t give her all at her editing job. She said she and so many of her friends eventually gave up their demanding careers in New York City for part-time jobs in our New Jersey burbs. Her husband, she pointed out, was the one who commuted and kept his bigger job. You could hear snippets of regret in her voice. And KidzBop hovering above it all.
She asked about remote work, parenting and school these days. (Kinda great?!, so so much and they’re in it, phew, I replied.) She seemed a bit in awe at the flexibility that has been imposed on so many of us. She said she and her friends have been talking, almost wistfully, about how their lives would have been different if they were working office jobs while parenting younger kids these days. Would they have kept their jobs? What leverage would they have had with employers? Yes, it’s difficult to balance it all, but, she said, they would have felt they had choices. That wasn’t the case two decades ago.
And then she said: "What would we have done? How would we have used this chance to reset?"
It got me thinking. And I recognize this is a very privileged angle. So many people aren’t resetting right now. Caregivers are hurting, exhausted and fed up.
But, collectively, this is a reset. This generation of caregivers is uniquely positioned to push for change. Those that came before us felt like they had fewer choices and less of a voice. We’ve been through so much now that we have the attention of lawmakers (a lot of them), the media (kinda) and people who may not have understand the plight of caregivers before (more than before).
We’ve got the Child Tax Credit passed and with checks improving the lives of millions. Paid leave is in Congress. Latest prospects for passage unpacked below. The 12 weeks is now reportedly four weeks, but still far better than what we had. We’ve got Meghan Markle urging lawmakers to pass paid leave while talking openly about her humble beginnings and saying that the salad bar at Sizzler was a splurge for her family. We’ve got White House Press Sec. Jen Psaki openly shutting down criticism of Treasury Sec. Pete Buttigieg’s paternity leave. Listen to her response in a press conference and imagine that happening 10 or even 5 years ago.
Buttigieg has faced criticism for taking four weeks of leave, particularly during a supply chain crisis. But he took it anyway. What if his leave had been framed as addressing “a supply chain of crisis care?” given the 1.8 million women who dropped out of the labor force in the pandemic, wondered Meg Conley in her Home Culture newsletter.
Buttigieg has been dismissing sharp, homophobic words from the likes of Tucker Carlson. Here’s what he said on CNN:
"I'm not going to apologize to Tucker Carlson or anyone else for taking care of my premature newborn infant twins. The work that we are doing is joyful, fulfilling, wonderful work. It's important work and it's work that every American ought to be able to do when they welcome a new child into their family."
We are all doing important work. Work that will pay dividends in the years ahead.
The road is bumpy and at times dismaying. But we’re on it. Thanks for being here and welcome to our new joiners. Read more about why I started this newsletter. Subscribe below. Have a caregiving story or know someone who does? Please message me for inclusion in a future issue. Hang in there and see you soon. We’ll publish next on November 26th (so I can avoid some of the after-Thanksgiving cleanup?!3 Shhhh.)
What To Know About the Caregiving Crisis This Week
NEWS WATCH: ROUNDUP — Keeping tabs on legislation, regulation and conversation:
PAID LEAVE: SAY GOODBYE TO 12 WEEKS — Pres. Joe Biden announced at a CNN town hall on Thursday night that he's cutting his proposal to 4 weeks of paid leave instead of 12, The Hill reported. He said this is part of a compromise reconciliation bill between the White House and lawmakers because "I can't get 12 weeks." Some lawmakers have objected to the $3.5 trillion package price. Biden also said the package won't include his proposal for two years of tuition-free community college. But he said they'd try to get that passed in coming years. He stressed package details won’t be finalized until there’s a deal.
Timing is still unclear. Democrats had hoped for a deal framework by the end of this week but this appears unlikely, The Hill said. Bookmark the 19th’s catch-all, which will be updated as the legislation continues.
JOBS WATCH: SEPTEMBER WAS TERRIBLE FOR WOMEN — Do you remember? When it was last September? Some 863,000 women left the labor force. That was the largest drop of women in one month, and this September is the next worse. Over 300,000 women left the labor force last month and you can bet that the start of school has something to do with it, the 19th reports. "Any fluctuation in the availability of child care — either through school or day care — affects women’s ability to stay attached to the labor force,” it writes, because women are by far the main caregivers.
Perspective: The number of women in the labor force now is about equal to the number either working/seeking work in July 2020. But not for men — about 1.3 million men have joined the workforce since then.
“The gains of the recovery are not lasting for women. This is not progress, this is treading water," Economist Kathryn Anne Edwards told the 19th.
Industries like public education, hospitality and retail are all seeing weaker employment. Many of them over-index on women workers.
The Los Angeles Times says that as the jobs numbers keep rolling out and everyone asks "where are the workers?" that society is forgetting that childcare and the workforce are inextricably linked. The childcare workforce is now 16% of what it was pre-pandemic, one researcher tells the LAT. Those workers can get better jobs elsewhere. And they should. More than 15% of childcare workers live below the poverty line in 41 states, according to a Treasury Department report. It's pretty much impossible to make childcare worker wages competitive because of a conundrum central to the industry, the LAT says: "Parents pay more than they can afford, yet workers still make less than they can live on." The solution is government help, said Lea Austin, executive director of UC Berkeley’s Center for the Study of Child Care Employment, whose most recent research helps explain the current shortage.
“We can’t get to good, stable childcare if we can’t stabilize and support the early care and education workforce, and until we intervene with some public resources, we’re running in circles,” Austin said.
MOM-FOCUSED RECRUITING TECH FIRM RAISES $80M — The Wall Street Journal says the series C funding for The Mom Project comes "at what may be a pivotal moment for working women and the companies that want to hire them." The Mom Project says companies are more willing to offer flexible work as they grapple with a talent shortage. (Sidebar: Also, the right thing to do.🤷♀️) The Mom Project says the funding brings its total to $116 million and marks the "largest global investment ever made in female workforce development." The site has matched over 500,000 professionals with some 3,000 companies since it started in 2016.
NYT WEALTH MATTERS COLUMNIST TO CREATE PLATFORM FOR 'LEAD DADS.' — Paul Sullivan writes a heart-felt column talking about his thousands of interviews and essays over the years, and his "secret other job" — lead parent to his three daughters. His wife has less "work freedom” he says, so he's been juggling these two jobs for the past 13 years. He writes that his platform — called The Company of Dads — will be for dads who are "lead parents" and that includes whether they're full-time, stay-at-home parents, who those who do that role simultaneously while holding down a job.
"I’ve often felt alone balancing these two amazing jobs — Times columnist and lead dad — and I plan to create a community for a growing but still nontraditional group of fathers," Sullivan writes.
Bottom Line: The withering away of the paid leave proposal is depressing but not surprising. When you see that juxtaposed with the job numbers, it only makes things worse. Our economy is linked to caregiving. It’s a fact. The faster we realize it the better.
THAT TERRIBLE CHART SHOWING THE U.S. NEEDS TO STEP UP — We all saw it. We’ve known the U.S. woefully under-supports parents and children but bless the New York Times data column “The Upshot” for creating a bar chart nothing short of a blunt object to really drive the pain home.
You ready? Please know I’m not going to say much after this on this chart because it really says it all. 🤦♀️
Ok. Here we go…
Bottom line: Maybe the kids need to try harder? I think Heidi “Of the Bathtub Picture” Lewis has it right: The kids just need to pull harder on their bootstraps. Right? This is what’s missing? Come on individuals, this is YOUR problem. Put down the teething ring and GET TO WORK. Oh, it’s nap time? Ok, take it but then GET TO WORK!
CHILDCARE? WHERE? — You and/or someone you know is likely affected by the childcare shortage as they head back to/keep working and grapple with limited options. Economists say it’s hampering families’ ability to work, which hurts the economy. (See jobs summary above.) And parents say it sucks. The NYT summed it up nicely in this headline:
Yes! We’re laughing!
Day care centers are operating at 88% capacity compared with 2019. Families can't get into aftercare4, causing them to scramble. Day care hours are starting later and ending earlier. Parents have no choice - they're making it work. Nanny shares, roping in family. Or worse, quitting their jobs. Somewhere between 900,000 and 1 million people have stopped working to support their families, and they tend to be moms in dual-income households. But in single-parent families and those that need two incomes to survive, moms have returned to their jobs, even as childcare as scarce. That these moms have not left the labor market in droves "makes it more worrisome," said Misty Heggeness, a principal economist and senior adviser at the U.S. Census Bureau.
“Because it means over the past two years you have this core group of women who have essentially been doing double duty 24/7 and not getting recognized for it. Nobody’s coming to rescue them,” Heggenness said.
One mom told the NYT she chose to trek 40 minutes into her Boulder office each day during the pandemic because the area was the only place she could find childcare for her then 3-year-old. Her husband is an architect, she is a project manager and they're both paying back student loans. Quitting is not an option, said Brittany Lynch.
“I am a white, middle class, superaverage person,” Lynch said. “If I struggle this much, I can’t even imagine what it’s like when it comes to others who don’t have it like me.”
Bottom Line: This entire system is hurting everyone - the families, the caregivers, the companies, the children. We’ve got to look at everything — even the business model for child care, which one expert tells the 19th simply does not work. So what does? The 19th profiles the Chambliss Center of Children, which dates to 1872 and has become a model across the country "for what local child care could look like as others race to just survive." The main difference: focusing on the business side of child care as much as the care itself. The Tennessee center has staffed up to ensure "experts run the finances, payroll, grant applications, budgets, human resources and other business-side particulars" for Chambliss' six off-site centers, which have their own directors and staff. Sharing the services to maximize the bottom line and empower families with the care they need. Our whole society should be sharing services. Fix it!
Signing off
Thanks, as always, for reading. Please send feedback, Jen Psaki/Pete Buttigieg memes, and book recommendations now that I am into the PREQUELS (prequels!) of Bridgerton and for the sake of everyone around me should really branch out. If you found value in Caregiving Crisis, please consider sharing with a friend.
I think it's 'do everything you can outside before another terrible winter and omg will kids under 11 be vaccinated before it starts?' season, too. 😮
ALSO - I have to put this somewhere that. MAJOR NERD ALERT - But I am *so* excited that I got to use my favorite verb tense in the title. The future perfect! It’s confusing and specific and wonderful! Credit my French major for my love of ‘futur antérieur.’ See Mom, I did use the major!
“I’m not sure what to do with my hands.” - Ricky Bobby is all of us.
Not actually planning on cooking much. Planning on cleaning even less.
I still pinch myself that we were able to get our first-grader into aftercare in our town, after it had to cut some 30% of spots due to a labor shortage. Here’s me last week trying to sign up for our YMCA’s ‘Vacation Camp’ so my kid has care during the entire week that ALL New Jersey schools are closed the first week of November. We got in. Phew.