Caregiving Crisis: Let's Create, Preserve and Destroy As We Head Into 2022
It'll make sense when you read it. ⭕🛠📚🔥 Also, come ON, Omicron and Joe Manchin. 🛑
This issue is sponsored by CareForce: the driving force in reimagining how we care. Bringing together builders, storytellers, funders and leaders to create the infrastructure of care we all need for the 21st century. Learn more here.
Hey everyone,
I want to close out this <insert string of any terrible adjectives you can think of>1 year with a story. It’s not about caregivers and it’s super old. Excited? Oh yeah.
This story is about creation, preservation and destruction. Several years ago, a dear mentor of mine helped us frame an evolution we were to undertake at work, to get us in the right mindset for action and change.
She told us about the triumverate — or trimurti — in Hinduism. The foundational belief called Brahman in three gods working together to keep the world going.
The first god is Brahma — responsible for creation.
The second is Vishnu — responsible for preserving the universe.
The third is Shiva — responsible for destruction... in order to recreate.
This trio works together to choose, strategically, what to build up, what to maintain and what to tear down so that they have room to create. See how it goes on and on? ⭕ My mentor had us think through what we would put in each ‘box’ and really distill the whys and hows. We had a clear path and a framework to talk about what we wanted to change, what we would keep and what we would make.
Whenever I am going through a transition, which seems to be constant these days 🤷♀️, I think of this framing. I appreciate how all three work together: you cannot move forward without building on the past, and you can’t just change or destroy… you must do so with future creations guiding you. No action is in isolation.
So, in the name of 2022 — which I hope brings lots of change — here’s my caregiving wish-list/to-do list for creating, preserving and destroying:
🛠 Create: More of a community for caregivers…to inspire action. My main goals in starting this newsletter in February 2021 were to A) communicate that you are not alone and B) inform a population deeply affected by this crisis. Communities are forming, such as the new Chamber of Mothers, the expanding CareForce and the inspiring Project Matriarchs, which we’re profiling in this issue. I will do my part to foster a community and inspire action among our readership. All our voices need to be raised in order to draw attention to these issues and bring about change.
📚 Preserve: Our angst and humor. To me, the truly incredible bright spot in this whole mess is the coming together of caregivers and sharing of the pain through humor. That and being able to wear stretchy clothes. All. The. Time. (See what I did there?) When times are tough, humor is the best way I know to make sense of everything. I fell down a rabbit hole of humor/sadness quotes and this one sums it up for me:
“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.” - Erma Bombeck
So, in 2022 expect the same level of spirit, angst, whacky gifs and random footnotes2. We take this crisis seriously but we also appreciate the absurdity of it all.
🔥 Destroy: Um, all of it.
Our antiquated views on supporting caregivers, including paid leave, in this country are a problematic printer giving us streaky TPS reports and causing us to work on weekends. We must tear down the mindset that this is a ‘women’s problem.’ We need:
More coverage about the various aspects of this crisis (and there are MANY!) by a broader swath of media. Coverage is beyond stellar by publications like the 19th, but to change the narrative, outlets with readership that skews more male must give the crisis the coverage it deserves. This crisis is a legitimate economic issue and it should be treated as one. Which brings us to…
To stop saying ‘She-cession.’ It’s belittling and undermines the importance of what is going on. Women’s low labor-force participation hurts the GDP, it hurts families, it hurts their spending, dings tax infrastructure, savings for retirement, and on and on. Prior recessions weren’t called ‘He-cessions’, so can’t we do away with this disrespectful phrase? H/T to the AP (my former employer) for taking my suggestion to include ‘She-cession’ on a list of things to leave behind in 2021. To me, She-cession sounds like Succession. Just know that every time I see it I think of Logan Roy’s favorite sign off to everyone he holds dear.
More men speaking out. To advance change, we need more men talking about the value of paid leave, their struggle as caregivers and the toll the crisis is taking on their families. This will help change the narrative and foster understanding that that is more than a women’s problem that we can just self-care our way out of. Two great callouts: Washington Post article out this week looking at how paid leave for dads helps their families, women, their family’s finances and of course, their relationship with their kids. The 19th asks "Did the pandemic change dads forever?" And for some, the "scrambled gender roles" are not going back, they report. To the dads reading this - please speak up and please speak out.
Alright, I’m getting angsty again. We’ll save that for below. (Looking at you, Joe Manchin.)
Thanks, as always, for being here and coming along this bumpy road with me and all the others in our community. Read more about why I started this newsletter. Subscribe below. Have a caregiving story or know someone who does? Please message me to share your story in a future issue. We’ll resume our last-Friday-of-the-month publication and see you next on January 28th. May your holidays be restorative, safe and not as tiring as you thought. Hang in there and see you in 2022.
What To Know About the Caregiving Crisis This Week
NEWS WATCH: ROUNDUP — Keeping tabs on legislation, regulation and conversation:
HEY JOE, I HEARD YOU SHOT THE BUILD BACK BETTER PLAN DOWN — All hopes for passage of the $1.75 trillion infrastructure package that the Biden administration called “"a fundamental game-changer for families...especially women" that would-have-or-would-not-have included paid leave have been dashed…until at least 2022 or possibly ever. The legislation needs the support of all 50 senators who caucus with Democrats, as the 19th explains. And on Sunday, Sen. Joe Manchin, D-W.V., told Fox News he “cannot vote to continue with this piece of legislation.”
“I just can’t. I tried everything humanly possible.” - Manchin to Fox News, and my 6-year-old to me when I tried to slip a blueberry into his second bowl of cereal for dinner.
Ok so what’s so bad about this package, Joe? The version passed by the House and before the Senate includes: universal pre-K, subsidized child care, climate change mitigation measures and...paid leave. (But only 4 weeks, not 12 weeks.) Among Manchin's peeves: Child tax credit, the price tag, the debt and security of the electrical grid (which is definitely something anyone on paid leave goes and messes with ?) For a deeper dive into the "tenuous" prospects for paid leave even before Manchin likely tanked it all, read more from the 19th.
The White House is, understandably upset. Press Secretary Jen Psaki released a blistering statement chiding Manchin for going back on pledges to negotiate "in good faith" and went point-by-point to take down his complaints. In another sick Psaki burn: "He will have to explain to the nearly two million women who would get the affordable day care they need to return to work why he opposes a plan to get them the help they need. Maybe Senator Manchin can explain to the millions of children who have been lifted out of poverty, in part due to the Child Tax Credit, why he wants to end a program that is helping achieve this milestone—we cannot."
Hey, does Joe’s torpedo make you want to scream into the abyss? Please read this cathartic essay entitled “I am Tired of Being a Woman and Mother in the United States of America” by Misty Heggeness, Principal economist and senior advisor at U.S. Census Bureau.
“Why can’t we be a society that does not blink twice about investing in our future — in our children (the workers of tomorrow) and the workers of today — and helping us achieve equality, full employment, and increased economic growth?” Heggeness writes.
CHILD TAX CREDITS: WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS — I was alllllll set to write about how double child tax credits were likely coming in February if Build Back Better were to be enacted. But Joey M. had other ideas (see above). The payments instituted in July likely expire at year-end aka next week. They had been part of relief law passed this year, giving tens of millions of families monthly payments of up to $300 per child under 6 and $250 for kids 6-17. But hey who needs that money? A LOT OF PEOPLE. A study by Columbia University estimated if the payments were made permanent, they could reduce child poverty in the U.S. by 40%. Here’s a chart by Bloomberg of U.S. Census data that looks at how the money has been used — on necessities like food, rent and utilities. You tell me where the frivolities are. Ugh.
SIDEBAR: 50,000 KIDS IN WEST VIRGINIA RISK POVERTY WITHOUT TAX CREDITS. Seriously. AP reports that over 180,000 families in West Virginia had been receiving an average of $446 a month, and without the tax credit, some 50,000 kids could slip into poverty if payments are delayed or scrapped, said Kelly Allen, executive director of the West Virginia Center on Budget and Policy. One in five West Virginia children is estimated to live in poverty and 93% of children in the state are eligible for the payments, tied for the highest rates in the country.
“Households across the state would have trouble meeting their basic needs,” Allen said. “There is real urgency right now to make sure families don’t get left short.”
HOUSE PANEL LOOKING AT ECONOMIC TOLL ON WOMEN ASKS COMPANIES FOR INFO — The House Select Subcommittee on the Coronavirus Crisis has asked a dozen large companies including Chevron, Comcast, Citigroup and more to share their layoff criteria, leave policies and benefits adopted during the pandemic. Panel chair Rep. James Clyburn, D-S.C., has given the companies until Jan. 7 to provide answers. The goal is to help "better understand how the pandemic has impacted gender equity in the workplace, and assess how to ensure a more equitable American workforce in the future," per the panel's press release. Here's a link to the actual letters sent out, which include substantial data and, frankly, some great messaging: "On top of the stresses arising from financial insecurity, unprecedented recent workforce shifts, and the ongoing spread of the coronavirus, women shoulder unique burdens in balancing work and disproportionate responsibilities for child and elder care."
What do women workers want? Washington Post’s women-focused section The Lily is out with a look at what women want from the workforce and what experts say they need: workforces that embrace flexibility, treat people more humanely, and have manageable workloads.
“The value has to be on how can we organize work so that people feel that they’re being treated in a supportive and humane way and that fits their needs, as opposed to the way we always organized work, which we know doesn’t work for most people — face time, unmanageable workloads,” said Marianne Cooper, a senior research scholar at the VMware Women’s Leadership Innovation Lab at Stanford University.
Bottom line: This is all so tiring. All of this is stirring and meanwhile we’re at it AGAIN with COVID because Omicron. I feel like I have nothing left anymore but appreciation for this tweet by local mom extraordinaire and sage Farah Miller:
INTERVIEW: GEN Z IS READY — While the elders disagree and delay sorely needed relief, Gen Z is rising up. They've seen their working parents struggle with it all and they want better for themselves when the time comes...and better for families now.
Enter Project Matriarchs, an inspiring effort by two childhood friends and college students who took a gap year in the pandemic and decided to help however they could.
Co-founders and co-directors Pilar McDonald and Lola McAllister are advocating for a better system that relieves what they call a "tension" between working and caring in the U.S.
Project Matriarchs launched a virtual tutoring service in September 2020, matching college students with working families to help kids and offer relief to caregivers in the form of free time. The service, available on a sliding scale or free, has been giving families, many of them single moms, hours of relief and kids knowledge and connection. It got amazing press coverage and ignited even more of a movement.
This past year, seeing the crisis only deepening, they created the Pledge to Care to pressure companies to step up where the government is falling short. They are focusing on the private sector, which — we alllll know — is facing a severe talent shortage as workers are fed up, stressed out or, in the case of many women caregivers, not working. This incoming workforce, they say, can advocate now and drive change. Their long-term goal is to get 250,000 signers of the Pledge. (Sign here.)
"The way we undervalue caregiving is so cultural, there is an opportunity for companies to be leaders and pioneers around this and if companies set a standard that's above what the government currently offers, that raises all of our standards and all of our understanding," McAllister said.
Governments and companies must enact systemic changes and better policies to frame care as a societal issue and collective responsibility, they say.
“I very much feel like I'm doing this for my future self but also for the future of my peers, especially those with fewer visible privilege than I have,” McDonald said.
Bottom line: These younger generations are the future. Let them lead the way. Whitney, you got this.3
Signing off
Welp, we’re about at the end of 2021. If you are reading this, you’re here and you did it. 👏 Next year…will it be different? Will it be better? We’ll be in it together.
Thanks, as always, for reading. Please send feedback, mom memes and Joe Manchin burns. If you found value in Caregiving Crisis, please share with a friend. See you next year. May it be less bad than this one.
Caregiving Crisis is a newsletter written by Emily Fredrix Goodman. We aim to publish monthly but other things may get in the way.
Hellacious, ridiculous and exhausting would be my three adjectives to describe 2021 AD. Or just the past week. Holy hell everyone get VACCINATED.
I felt like we needed a footnote here. It’s hard to have humor on demand so here is a picture of our new rescue pup Louise aka Weezi. I always said no to having a dog until I didn’t. She’s cute but terrible at sleeping in her bed.
Sidenote: The great state of New Jersey (where I live) is renaming rest stops for celebrated natives and Whitney is getting her own. If you are ever traveling through New Jersey and want to safely meet up at the Whitney Houston rest stop - or the Bon Jovi one (although TBH it’s a travesty they’re not keeping its original name of ‘Cheesequake’) - just holler!